There was a time when i would stop and rip open a person in fornt of me while i analysed his views fears body language and attitude by my first impresiion! Wee that time has come again. Actually!
To begin with lets talk about Men? Excuse me? i can right? or do i become a feminist as i guess you are already asuming Im here to bash them? see there goes another whiff of stereotyp-ism!
I feel this species is really mistreated. Actually. They are such poor beings constantly oscillating between themselves and us. Constantly agonised by random acts of careless precedence put forward by all the ladies around. I feel if they wernt around wed all be in a soup! No that we cant reproduce without each other ( well who doesnt know its viable for 2 women to have a girl ) but the very spice and icings remain missing without them you know.
Its like having a BMW and not having red carpets. You know we can sail through quickly but we all need that red carpet. And that Poor red carpet thinks people drive BMW's for them. And the BMW thinks people ride for the Carpet. Well nonsense!
If a man was asked how to handle a woman hed twitch , sigh and turn around to his male friends for advice. His confusion would continue as he tries to sincerely grapple " what the hell is she saying? ". He will look at her and make an attempt to say " yes Baby " but all he can do is look! When a lady asks him " are you listening ?? " hell get all alert and say yes yes but truly hes so confused about her complete behaviour that by the time he grapples and tries to take a hint of whats in her mind ; she has already said what she had to say and starts testing if youve heard. And the Poor Man. He has to handle volcanoes , rotate the earth and rise the sun. As simple as that.
Now that he fail's the test the lady is crying. Oh god how to handle a crying woman?? The Man becomes all gooey and soft which in turn repulses him from himself . hell say and mumble irrelevant things like " Baby i heard every word " but in reality he NEVER can.
Now the mind of a man is like a child. You show him a colourful balloon and he s looking at the string attached and the sky and the movement. And once the balloon is let off all the girl asks is " whats the color of the balloon ?" nd voila hes zonked.
Cause he was so lost analysing AB Z that he forgot what language it is from!
Now i kn0w many men will sigh and say nonsense. But inside they will acknowledge the helplessness they face when with a woman. Especially if they arent courting the one.
The lady will shriek and cry and the men will go their men. "why is she lik this"
" i dont want to shop with her. Shes mean"
"I dont like to hug her and sleep. I need my space! "
"Please dont tell me best of luck when i go playing with the boys"
"I dont care if thers no foreplay."
" yes or no??""
These questions are his mind space. Sometimes he slike a binary 1 or 0. As simple as that. And we woman know 0.1 0.2 and 0.99999999999 in bteween that shocks them all the time.
They not only find women mean and cold sometimes they also get insecure of their success. But why should you blame them? Its confusing enough for us women to understand ourselves and we expect you to sympathise with us when we are actually running in your race and taking the first second and the third spot! And we cry that the medal was not enough. Maybe a guy would have got a better medal? And then heroes inarms shall tell us " its ok Baby !"
Phew. Its crazy. Men are really naive. Street smartedness mind you is a different dimension which most of them are damn good at! Crazily Good. But as i said they are 1 or 0. When they are 1 they are all ruthless and cuthroat When thay are 0 they are mushy naive and adorable puppies. Now men meet women when thay are in zeroes.
And women?? They are cuththraot mean naive beaitiful streetsmart in all the numbers between 0 and 1.! Hence the constant mismatch. Its like when a man deciedes to commit forever to a woman he does. He says it he means it. And so do we. But ahaa theres always a tag line with us. We do enjoy the subtle flirting glances and a few advances from others even if we are completely commited to a single man. Mind you this is not flirting but its a simple way of life. Men as i said again are 0 or 1. so they do not have random acts in between like we women with hundred thousand complications and intricacies.
Men are fairly simple when you know which stage they are in 0 or 1.Mostly they judge women on following ways
1. Slam Bham Thank You Bye
2. Life Partner
3.Friend ( Best Random etc )
Women will have at least 67 subtopics if im not wrong.
Well so much for analysis and ripping. All in all i dont blame them if they whine and cry cause simply they can never understand what we mean.
When we whine they should SHUT UP and LISTEN
When we look away thay should PAMPER and MANO-FY.
When we are serious they should STOP teasing around.
When we are angry they should not ignore our SILENCE.
When we laugh they SHOULD laugh.
When we complain they SHOULD NOT give us any solutions. Ever.
When we say we will take care they should BACK OFF.
When we with our girls they should NOT expect us to take care.
When we get pissed with their friends we EXPECT them to aplogize.
But all this while they need to understand we love them in our own way . Like a Kite with hundred thousand trajectories , strings colours , directions. But whats important is the Kite runner hold the Kite in the end. So the Kite will stay if it likes the runner:P Simple!!
Now men dont be aginy aunts and bitch about my inferences. I have dipped so much sattire that sometimes im re satirified:P
Well formtomorrow il start anaylsing people.
Stick Around sweethearts ( girls ) and candy floss commandoes ( boys )!!!
Thats a good observation from a lady and I feel happy that women know a bit what we are. But then there are facts which you have got horribly wrong and made assumptions that might come back to bite you.
ReplyDeleteI will start by saying, your observation that we are mistreated is appreciated and yes we do oscillate, oscillate between choosing a ladies happiness over ours and giving a smile on her face at our own expense.
Red carpet is a a nice analogy, I wonder where did you get the idea from?? The thing is we don't mind being red carpets just so that women can have their moment of stardom in this ever so monotonous life. We(or every guy that truly loves a lady) crave for giving them their moments of fairytale.Trust me the volcanoes and mood swings are easy to handle. Yes. we don't understand women all the time but I guess women can give us that as I don't think they have figured them self out either!! When women cry we panic not because we can't handle but with every tear that falls we feel like a diamond is being wasted. They are just too precious for us to be wasted on some silly .112 phase your are in.Yes, we are hopeless lovers, and we give all we got. They choose to be vulnerable and gullible in front of the lady because we know we will get attention like a one year old which we so love coming from our dearest.Women don't even know when they sleep, we stand and guard them, kiss them on their cheek so gently they never come to know, Admire their beauty and the phase when they look like an angle. Custom made for us...And foreplay...damn important...What the hell do you think we are ?? How can we let go that pleasure :)
And Ya its Slam Bam Thank you mam!! pay attention next time I give you an insight into man's world.
We always know you crave for attention and that flirtatious glimpse coming from a strange man which leaves us completely angry, yet we smile. We are street smart and ruthless, mean machines but ever imagined why even a Achilles gave into love and went in Troy. Only to expose his heel but then I am sure if asked he will say it was worth it. That one look one touch.
Then you must think , What keep men going?? Why do we become red carpets?? Why do we sacrifice our guys thing?? We know in your own way ladies love us and can't do without us!!